In my search for peace, I stumbled upon Eckhart Tolle. His videos and books, which I listened to repeatedly at work or on my commute, were fundamental to me learning to go from miserable and neurotic to at peace and happy. Eckhart Tolle has a beautiful ability to explain the way our minds work and how so much of what we do is reaction rather than any real conscious action by us. The result of this reactive, defensive “self” is invariably a great deal of suffering for ourselves and others. Here is him explaining an aspect of this reactive, self-sabotaging “self” in his own words.
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